SUNDAY IN ALAMEDA PARK

Hi Gringos,

I am definitely falling in love with Mexico City, again. We have had our differences, but I am more certain that we belong together. This blog is dedicated to an elegant park in the center of the city called Parque Alameda. It is small, seven blocks by three blocks. But it is packed with fountains, statues, food vendors, police on horseback, comedians, clowns, mind readers, music, and people having a great time. The first picture gives you an idea of where this Eden is located, right in the central business district. The building in the background is the Tower Latinoamerica, the building on the right is Sears.







The park has 9 circular plazas with fountains and statues. Benches line all of the paths that run at right angles and diagonals between the plazas. Pictured below is an example of a favorite Parque Alameda pastimes.




And here's an example of one of the park police.

After kissing, the next favorite pastime must be eating. Yes, I do eat the food from the stalls and no I haven't gotten Montezuma's Revenge. The first picture is called a huarache. It's the Mexico word for "sandal." The base is a bluegreen corn tortilla, but thicker. The tortilla is usually filled with beans and chicharones (fired pork skin). Then your local al fresco chef will add any combination of frijoles, nopal (cactus), chilis, cheese, onions, cilantro, lettuce, and tomato. Hold the chilis, hold the lettuce special orders don't upset us. At Huarache King, have it your way.

Here's a quesadilla stands.

And here's a stand selling salty, spicy things. The big, crispy things on the right are fried pork skin. Instead of breaking it into chips, they sell the entire back. Then you sit with a little salt and salsa and eat you some pig. I haven't gotten the nerve to try it yet. I'm not afraid of the taste, I know I like it, but it doesn't look like something a clumsy person should do. But look at the fresly made poatato chips on the left. I almost always get those. Add salt and hot sauce to your taste.

On the weekends there are at least two bands playing all day -- sometimes more. This band was great. A cross between rock 'n' roll and salsa. Lots of energy and great musicians.

I found this kid practicing his air guitar moves watching the band.

This couple was also enjoying the band. I think I did 'shrooms with them at Woodstock. They caught me trying to take their picture surreptitiously. They waved me over for a better shot. They got a really good laugh at my bad Spanish. But when you're that high, everything is funny.

Every circular plaza has an act -- comedian, juggler, etc. But my favorites are the mind readers/spiritualists. Here is one of the better ones. I don't understand a thing, but people seem to give her a lot of pesos for whatever it is she does.

Many of you have been asking for more pictures of me, so here you go. I just can't keep those Mexican men off me.

I'd like to know who is reading the blog. Please leave your name in the comment section. If you have any suggestions for the blog, leave those also. I was thinking about more Mexico City landmark pictures next week -- churches and monuments. Also, just a hint of love is in the air. But I don't want to jinx it be saying anything else right now.

Affectionately yours, gagginmexico. fmarlman@aol.com

SANTA COMES TO ZIPOLITE

Hello gringos,

I got out of Mexico City for the holidays and went to paradise for Christmas. Paradise was Zipolite beach in the state of Oaxaca. It was warm and wonderful. No need for chimneys, so Santa enters through that hole in the rock.





The bus ride to get there was hell -- I missed my connection in Acapulco and had to spend the night. You think that sounds nice? I hate Acapulco!! It's a big dirty city screwing up a beautiful bay. The following day my 10-hour bus ride was spent next to a guy who sneezed and farted, simultaneously, every fourteen and a half minutes. Old Faithful was a pretty nice guy and let me sit next to the window to watch the jungle pass and contemplate life in between eruptions.

Zipolite turned out to be very rustic, very cheap, and perfect. OK, no air conditioning, the power worked intermittently, and toilets were a crap shoot -- but I'm not kidding about being perfect. There were fresh shrimp the size of chickens, men fought over who would accompany me to the nude beach, the sea (and the men) sensed my mood and would alternate between rough and peaceful, the sun kissed my skin but never burned, irritating Canadians were never able to get tables at my restaurants of choice, elderly Mexican ladies brought me sweet bread on the beach, their sons offered me coconuts filled with rum before massaging my back with suntan lotion, Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote a novel just for me to read in my hammock, a breeze would lift the low-hanging bougainvillea just over my head as I walked through the streets while Italian men offered me savory snacks and gelato, young Mexican men played guitars and sang under my window the songs they wrote (about me, of course), the moon was always full, and as I made love every night on the beach shooting stars fell from the sky into the eyes of my latest conquest.

There really are a lot of Italians here with restaurants and better pizza than I can find in Mexico City. And there really was this one Italian guy with a crush on me who would give me little snacks or gelato every time I passed by. OK, some of my description might be exaggerated -- the shrimp were only as big as a capon in actuality.
Here's a little section of the main street with the aforementioned low-hanging bougainvillea.


Zipolite has always been sort of counter culture and gay friendly. It was filled with lots of gay men for the holidays. Apparently a lot of us tend to run away during Christmas. Below is picture of one of those nice gay men. I call this picture, "Full moon as the sun sets." Mmmm Zipolite!!.

That reminds me, it's pretty butt-freezin' cold up there ain't it? Come visit and get the chill out of your bones. I can't promise this particular fellow will still be on the beach, but who knows?
Affectionately yours, GagginMexico. fmarlman@aol.com

MARIPOSA MIEDOSA

Hola gringos,

Title translation: Scared Butterfly. There have been a lot of butterfly references in my brief Mexico stay. First of all, in Mexico "mariposa" is a euphemism for gay. Second, I chose "Mariposa Miedosa" as my Luchador (professional wrestling) name. Third, I went to the mountains on Sunday to see millions of Monarch Butterflies. These amazing creatures travel thousands of miles from the Unites States and Canada to their winter breeding grounds in the Mexican mountains. Just like me, I also flew to my Mexican winter breeding grounds. Here is a picture of one of the forest rangers watching us tourists watch the butterflies.

The trip up the mountain was hell! We started out on foot. The trail was very rocky and straight uphill. After 15 minutes of arduous trekking we were getting tired and asked how much further to the butterflies -- 2 more hours! I almost cried -- OK, I did cry. After I dried my eyes, I started heading back downhill to rent a horse. The irritating thing is, they were following us knowing that we would never make it. So I picked the sturdiest horse and I was on my way uphill with my 11 year old guide Malquimedes. He was very timid at first but later he wouldn't stop talking. I understood about 10%. Here are a couple of pictures of my buddy. Notice the shoes --who needs fancy hiking boots? -- and no socks!! This kid had no trouble getting up and down the mountain on foot. His eight year old cousin also made the trip as a guide.

Here is Malquimedes with my intrepid steed. I named her "too stupid not to run away from the fat gringo." She was very gentle but had a mischievous colt that followed us all the way. The colt particularly enjoyed trying to pass us in narrow, steep areas.

The trip cost $15 with a horse. I gave my buddy a $5 tip and he was very excited. I later saw him blowing it on video games in the little store. Good for him!! His older brother (really cute) took us for coffee at their home. It was really nice and they served us coffee for free. It was called cafe olla and had some flavors I was not familiar with -- it was really good!

Here's my art shot of scenery along the trail.

And finally, here's the Mariposa Miedosa in his natural habitat. The ranger looked really nervous when I started to sit down. I managed to do it without killing one butterfly. But he looked at my ass and calculated the potential for 137 butterfly deaths. The mariposas liked me, they really liked me! Notice the one on my knee. His nickname is Monty. He promised to keep in touch. But he will be gone in a few more months. Just like the Mexico City mariposas, they flutter and flit, land on my knee, we get friendly, and they disappear after a few months.

I'm heading to a beach in the state of Oaxaca for the holiday. It's a 14 hour bus trip. I will be staying at a beach cabana run by an expatriate American guy in Zipolite. Zipolite is known for being laid back, gay friendly, cheap, and the nude beach. Don't worry, I scared enough animals last week, I think I'll keep the suit on. I'll tell you about it next week.

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Until then, affectionately yours, GagginMexico fmarlman@aol.com

HAPPY VIRGIN DAY

Hola gringos,

Did you miss virgin day? It was Wednesday (ironic to have Virgin day on Hump day isn't it?). It was the Fiesta of the Virgin of Guadalupe. Catholicism is so much more ingrained in this country than anywhere else I've been.. For example, the names of businesses.

Please note that the sign indicates that the Jesus Pharmacy offers discounts. Well it's newer in the business than its competition "God Pharmacy." They are probably trying to build a little market share before they jack up the prices. It's always this way with deity businesses. No kidding they really do have the pharmacy of God. They also have pharmacies named after monastic orders and astrological signs. A little voodoo with your science never hurts.

Just a little background on the Virgin of Guadalupe. She is the Mexican version of the Virgin Mary with brown skin. Of course, the original Mary very well might have had brown skin. Right after the Spanish started their campaign to convert the Indians to Catholicism she appeared to an Indian named Juan Diego. JD told the priests, but they didn't believe him. So she appeared again and put her picture on his cape as proof that she had appeared to him. This cape is what is on display in the Basilica of the Virgin in the north of Mexico city. The cape display has a really odd system of moving sidewalks in front of it so you can't stop and gawk. You just glide right by and pay your respects quickly.

The Virgin of Guadalupe has got to be one of the greatest gimmicks of all time. In the 1500's They were having a hard time trying to push Catholicism on the Indians. Then they got smart and decided to market it as something too good for the Indians. The priests at first "couldn't believe" she could have brown skin and appear to a mere Indian. The desired Indian response, "Well damn right I'm good enough for your virgin to appear -- or to buy your product." Brilliant!! and it worked. It turns out that Juan Diego was no mere peasant. He worked with the priests and was a former Aztec nobleman. So whether you believe it was a miracle or an invention of the priests, either way it was marketing genius.

I'll leave you today with a picture of my local bookstore -- sort of the neighborhood Barnes & Noble. My favorite things here are the National Geographics in English from the 60's & 70's. Sixty cents for one or two for a dollar. The smell of mildew is free.

Teaser for next week. I'm going this Sunday to the mountains to look at the migration of Monarch Butterflies. This is their winter home and there are millions of them in one spot.

Affectionately yours, GagginMexico. fmarlman@aol.com

MONSTER AND LOVER

Hola gringos, sorry if you were worried about me. I am a lot better. My mom and sister Linda came to visit bearing gifts from afar -- two wise women. OK, I'd been hoping for three wise men with beautiful eyes and a passive nature from the east of Mexico, say Veracruz. But these two women brought real love and presents. Mom bought me a suit, I now own three which I think will be OK if I get a job. Linda brought me a laptop and sweaters (it's quite cold here in the mornings), and a digital camera from my other sister Karen. I'm almost a real person again with possessions and everything. I promise that I will have pictures next week and an upbeat blog.

I know a lot of you wish I would just come home. I will if I don't get a job soon (I have an interview next week). But I hate being told no and I feel like Mexico City is trying to tell me "No, Gringo!". Then it turns around and does something wonderful. We had a Posada celebration at the Spanish Language School. Half of us stood outside portraying Joseph and Mary on their journey to Bethlehem and sang a song asking to be admitted into the inn. The other half stood inside and sang back responses and finally let us in. Inside was a great punch with fruit and sugar cane (fun to chew the sugar cane after you drink the punch). They had two huge pinatas for the kids. My profesora also pushed me out there to take a couple of good whacks at it. Then they served tostadas and chicken with mole. I don't think Joseph and Mary had it quite that nice -- a great tradition. Coming up on December 12th is the day of the Virgin of Guadalupe. I'll write more about that next week.

About the title for this week's blog -- it is a quote from the author Paco Ignacio Taibo II. He was originally from Spain but has lived in Mexico City for 40 years. He writes detective stories based in Mexico City. In an interview he described Mexico city as "a monster and a lover." I know exactly how he feels.

Affectionately yours, GAGGinMexico fmarlman@aol.com

SICK AND TIRED

Sorry for no posting last week. I have been pathetic, mentally and physically. I was not meant to be sick and poor. For the last week I have been terribly sick with the flu. I also still don't have my credit cards or ATM card three weeks after the robbery. I am getting really frustrated. Right now, they are in a DHL package in Mexican customs. FOR THREE FUCKING DAYS AND NO IDEA WHEN THEY WILL BE RELEASED!!!! I'm a little stressed.

Why did the fucker have to take my clothes and my contacts and my glasses. Is there a market for blind giants I was unaware of. I wear the same shoes all the time, I have only one belt, the replacement glasses I bought here are not so great and are really ugly. I don't want to spend any money in case the cards don't come through. My friends and family have been great in helping me -- BUT I SORT OF HATE BEING HELPED. Maybe I should get over that.

On the plus side, I played last night and they loved me. I got a note addressed to Señor Pianista. Very sweet. I do look good in my one suit. I have lost a lot of weight due to sickness and depression. I did make creamed spinach yesterday for a gringo Thanksgiving dinner -- then they cancelled the dinner.

My friend Juan Carlos is taking me to see a wrestling match tonight. That should be fun. Maybe half naked sweaty men groping each other will cheer me up. If that doesn't do it, nothing will, right?

Thanks for the therapy session everybody, I hope I'll have something amusing to say next week.

Affectionately yours, GAGGinMexico fmarlman@aol.com

NO PICTURE WEEK

Hi, what a week. Sorry no pictures this time, I'll explain later. First, I want to pass on my favorite new phrases in Spanish. As I passed the KFC I saw the sign for "finger-lickin' good" -- "para chuparse los dedos". Literally translated as "for one to suck the fingers." God I love that! I think sucking the fingers is more exact than licking. I give this one to the Mexicans. Another thing they say better is "aqui tiene" when they give you something, like in a restaurant. It literally translates as "here you have". I was having coffee and the waiter gave me my coffee, "aqui tiene". Then he asked me to help him with his English. So I told him for the gringos he should say "here you go". Of course he thought I didn't understand. Go? who's going? what's going? "Here you go" really doesn't make any sense does it? Another win for the the Mexicans.

OK, now for the dirty words -- my favorite so far is "huevon" literally to be like eggs. It indicates laziness. Follow the logic: huevos are eggs, they also call testicles eggs. So to be huevon is to hang around doing nothing, just getting in the way -- like testicles. Brilliant!! Another win for the Mexicans. I can not think of anything that descriptive and creative in English. Write to me if you have examples.

A word you hear a lot here is "pinche". Rough translation is "fucking". The pinche traffic, the pinche police, you can refer to your buddy, in a joking way of course, as a pinche pendejo. Used all the time. And speaking of pinche pendejos I was robbed last Friday night.

Don't freak out, I'm OK -- quite a bit poorer, but just fine. I had been talking with a young guy at the Starbucks. It was the second time I had met him and he was really, really charming and great at helping me with my Spanish. He asked where I lived and I told him I lived very close. We had been talking about my translation program on my laptop and the pictures I had taken. He really wanted to see this so I invited him to my apartment to look. I really didn't have ulterior motives. I mean I'm no saint and it's not that the thought didn't cross my mind, but it really was an innocent invitation. He asked to stop at the store to get some wine as a present for me, fine. We were looking at the translation program, I drank a glass of the shitty wine he bought and the next thing I remember is walking around groggily at 5:30. The pinche pendejo drugged me. He stole my laptop, my camera (ergo, no pictures this week), my wallet, my money, my credit cards (including the ones I had hidden for emergencies), my two telephones, my passport, my suitcase which he filled up with five suits, 10 shirts, my best pairs of shoes. He also took my smaller case which had my contacts, my spare pair of glasses, then he went into the bathroom and stole my glasses from there. There's actually a lot more, but you get the idea.

Now don't get too worried because for every one bad person that comes into your life, 10 angels appear. I walked to my buddy Juan Carlos who was a prince and helped my get on the phone and start the recovery process. He also helped me get the police report -- that could be an entire blog in itself. The United States embassy has been great. Then I made those tough calls to my overly-protective sisters and my family in Chicago, Keith and Nancy. Of course it's sort of tough to call them overly-protective after what happened, I suppose. Karen wired me money and I started a long week of putting my life back in order. Keith and Nancy are helping me replace my contacts and my computer. My buddy in Chicago, Sami, has offered to send me new lyric sheets for my gigs. Everything is going to be OK. Damn, I'm sorry to be such a bother to my family and friends. Especially Keith and Nancy now as they are carrying the load of getting me a lot of the new stuff. I LOVE YOU KEITH. And Nancy if you were a guy I'd love you just as much.

Speaking of princes, two people came into my life that I probably would not have met -- Brian Kirby and Ricardo Gonzalez. Brian lives in my building and came to the rescue of a fellow gringo in trouble. Brian is gay, from Illinois, and a CPA. Damn it's a small world. He and his Mexican buddy Ricardo have been constantly helping me since the robbery and I have new best friends. But don't tell them that, I'm trying to learn the lingo here where you call your best friend a pinche puta. And let's face it, always telling someone how great they are and how you could never have survived this ordeal without them is pretty boring, even if it's true. They're fucking great and I will never be able to repay them and Juan Carlos and my sisters and my friends for their help. I am a really lucky guy to have these people in my life. I believe I'll manage without the Jerry Lewis telethon, but if anyone is inclined to mention my problems to Jerry, it could be a very compelling show. I think we could do it in just a few hours of television, not the whole weekend. But prime time naturally.

I now have one new suit, a new telephone, glasses ordered, etc. I also have a cool piano gig now every Thursday. Resources has been a lot more encouraging about an accounting job. My new buddy Ricardo is tutoring me privately in Spanish (I can ask him certain questions I couldn't ask my professor at the university). I'm even talking (very prematurely, but seriously) with Brian and Ricardo about starting our own English Language school here. Life is good. Hopefully, I'll have pictures back in the blog soon.

Affectionately GagginMexico. fmarlman@aol.com